28 Battle-Tested Tips for Summer Interns on Wall Street

Summer internship season just around the corner. And while it may be true that finance is no longer the default destination of our best, brightest, and most ambitious, there’s a lot to be said for cutting your teeth for a summer on Wall Street.

These firms invest a significant amount of resources in developing and training prospective analysts, providing them with guidance and mentorship, and exposing them to some of the most aggressive, motivated, and intelligent people on the planet.

More important, banks recruit more than 50% of their new hires from intern pools, so the stakes are high. For the sake of your future, here’s the knowledge and tips you actually need to turn any internship into a full-time position:

• You’re well-compensated. Don’t plan on saving any of it. Think of the experience as an investment in yourself. So go all out at bars and restaurants, socialize and network, and invest in an appropriate wardrobe.
• If your boss smokes, smoke. Stocking up on JUUL pods could mean an extra hour of daily one-on-one face time.
• Chill with the exclamation points in emails. “Sure thing!!” “Will do!!” “Let me know if u need anything else!!”
• Don’t be late to a meeting with a Starbucks in your hand.
• Get in an hour before you think you need to. It looks good, and gives you more direct one-on-one time with your seniors who also get in early.
• Keep your shoes shiny, but don’t let anyone see you having your shoes shined. You have to earn it.
• At a group meeting, arrive early, but don’t take a seat until all of the seniors have arrived. Nothing is worse than watching an MD having to stand, or worse, submissively giving up your seat when the room is full.
• People like talking about themselves, so ask questions that get them in their comfort zone. A big part of your first impression is how you make people feel about themselves.
• Think of the Japanese proverb, “the nail that sticks out gets hammered down.” So don’t be annoying. Asking too many questions is like giving seniors homework. This also includes how you dress and making sure you’re not known as the “fun, drunk guy.”
• Schedule emails to auto-send at strange hours to demonstrate commitment — 2AM on Saturday or 7AM Sunday, as long as it’s not spam.
• Read more or find someone who does and steal their ideas.
• Set Google alerts on keywords relevant to your job. Share important stories (prudently) with the team as a PDF, not a (paywalled) link. It shows initiative and inquisitiveness.
• Stay in shape. Intern hours are a walk in the park, so find the time; being overweight is associated with laziness and a lack of discipline.
• Leave a jacket on the back of your desk chair so people can never be 100% sure if you’ve left early for the day or are taking a long lunch.

• Get everything — suits, jackets, dress shirts, pants, jeans — tailored. Dressing the part isn’t difficult.
• Keep a tie rolled up in your drawer.
• Get Bloomberg terminal training; it’s free.
• Take your internship off your LinkedIn profile. It’s pathetic. But connect with your seniors and, later on, copy the verbiage they use on their LinkedIn.
• An MDs jokes are always funny. Period. And if you are on the receiving end of a joke, laugh with it. If you take yourself too seriously, no one else will.
• Buy at least three decent suits. Keep it simple and conservative; if a suit has too much flair, the only thing people will see is how often you wear it.
• Don’t wear Hermès ties. You have to earn it.
• If you are exchanging stock tips with friends at other firms, don’t buy short-dated, out-of-the-money call options.
• Parrot other people’s ideas. Banking is a lot of coordination work; talk to traders, sales people, and research analysts.
• Don’t even think about working from home. You miss out on spontaneous opportunities, mentorship, bonding, and understanding the firm’s culture.
• Be discreet on social media.
• Don’t wear a tie unless you have to. And learn how to tie a decent half Windsor knot. I’ve rejected interview candidates on this basis alone; they clearly weren’t well-raised, and never had the desire to teach themselves.
• Use the “Reply to All” function as if it’s a privilege. And if your email says, “please see attached,” there better be an attachment.
• Shut up about where you go to college. Decent credentials are a given.

• Let your seniors set the tempo when it comes to rowdy nights out. Don’t be afraid to join in; just make sure you’re first one in the next morning.
• It’s impossible to compete with female interns. And it’s not cool. So don’t bother trying.
• Show some leadership by organizing drinks and nights out with fellow interns; get them wasted.
• When a fellow intern leaves his desk, change his screen to Rolex.com, TMZ.com, or BudLight.com.
• Come up with dismissive and condescending nicknames for fellow interns (Chico, Fredo, Bubba, etc.). Hope that they catch on.
• Leave the canvas bags at the office. You just look like a douche.
• When a fellow intern leaves his computer unlocked at the end of the day, change the signature on his email settings. Using white font, add any variety of obscene words. No one will see it… except for HR.
• Don’t be too good to do the coffee runs. It shows confidence. Just don’t screw it up. If you can’t be trusted with coffee, how can you sell bonds or manage risk.
• Sure, “be proactive” and “ask questions,” but don’t get in the way and make someone else’s life harder in the process.
• Ask the secretary for the travel schedules of the senior members of the team for the week ahead. Now you know when you can sleep in, hit the gym, or beat the traffic to the Hamptons.
• Never tell the first offensive joke, but always have a good one saved up for when your seniors finally trust you enough to share one of theirs. They collect them like baseball cards.
• Don’t offer to buy drinks when out with your seniors; you can’t afford them and it won’t score any points.
• Relate to your seniors at their level — restaurants, exotic travel destinations, bars, books, etc. They need to know they wouldn’t get bored sitting next to you on an airplane.
• It’s okay to make a mistake or ask a question. But don’t ever ask the same question or make the same mistake twice. If you do, just know that the world needs ditch diggers too.