Things I've Learned: What I Wish I Knew at 18

Most advice for young men is written by people who never had to take it. This list is the opposite. It was written by someone who went to college, worked on Wall Street, lived on three continents, drank for years, wrote a bestseller about it and then figured out what he would do differently.

John LeFevre posted Things I've Learned: What I wish I knew at 18 as a thread in March 2024. By October 2026 it had been viewed 16.6 million times and bookmarked more than 30,000 times. Two lessons got the most attention on their own: "200 Saturdays" and "Have kids sooner." He wrote the thread as a follow-up to his earlier list, 99 Rules To Live By.

Here are all 28, exactly as he wrote them. We've grouped them and added a few words on why each group matters. Everything inside the quote blocks is John. Everything outside is ours.

Time is the only thing you can't buy back

2. Spend time with your parents

You probably have less than 200 Saturdays left with your parents before they die. And then you become an orphan.

8. Have kids sooner

It’s not a debate. Life has zero meaning without children. Zero. It’s fine to make sure you’re ready in terms of resources and commitment, but don’t look for reasons to delay. You will not regret having children. And every year you put it off is one less year you get to enjoy your grandkids.

13. Watch the sun rise

It’s self-explanatory; take an early morning walk: Fresh air, vitamin D, exercise, more productive days, quiet reflection, and much better sleep.

28. Go to bed tired

Start here because it is the part people underline. Two hundred Saturdays sounds like a lot until you do the math. It's less than four years of weekends. Most men spend their twenties assuming their parents will always be there and their kids will come later. These lessons are a correction to both assumptions.

"Have kids sooner" is the most argued-with lesson in the thread, and it is written to be. Note what it does not say. It does not say have kids before you're ready. It says don't look for reasons to delay. The cost of waiting is paid at the far end of your life, in years with grandchildren you never get.

School, work and the long game

1. College is mostly a scam

I’m glad I went to college, because I wanted to work on Wall Street. But today, I wouldn’t waste $300,000 on it, and I wouldn’t want to work in banking. Instead, I’d load up on college credits during high school, go to a school like the University of Texas to have fun, graduate in 3 years debt-free, and travel around the world for a year.

4. Settle down geographically

This also means, “see the world while you’re young and unattached.” I’ve lived in New York, London, Hong Kong, Singapore, and Houston - and I’m glad I did. But it’s important to settle down (around age 30) and establish a footprint of friends, family, property, and a business network - a life.

5. Network

When I attended capital markets roadshow luncheons, I’d exchange business cards with C-suite executives, investment banking competitors, countless buy side portfolio managers, and research analysts. On my way out, I’d throw the stack of cards in the trash. Today, many of these people - smart and ambitious - have risen to influential positions in finance, business, tech, philanthropy, and politics all over the world. Build a meaningful Rolodex, a real one - not simply 5,000 LinkedIn connections.

19. Start a business

In investment banking, when I had a problem, every solution was a phone call away - the lawyer, IT guy, research analyst, support staff, sales team, etc. When I left the comfort and structure of Wall Street, I had an impeccable résumé, but was not equipped with real-world, entrepreneurial skills. It’s essential to learn how to play every position. We don’t know how AI or unexpected disruption will reshape the world, but there is protection in having hard assets, cash flow, and consumer-facing businesses that run like a factory - rising with inflation and making money while you sleep.

The college lesson isn't anti-education. It is anti-waste. The plan is specific: credits in high school, a state school, three years, no debt, then a year of travel. It treats the degree as a ticket, not a personality.

The networking lesson is a confession. Every business card in that trash can was a door. The point isn't to collect contacts, it's to keep the few that matter, because the junior people across the table at 25 are the ones running things at 45.

"Start a business" is the most practical lesson on the list. A banker has a phone number for every problem. An owner has to solve them himself, and that turns out to be the skill that matters when the structure goes away.

Money: spend some, save some, bet some

7. Take a barbell approach to money and investing

Not enough nuance is given to financial advice. It’s important to enjoy the fruits of your labor. After all, money is only something you need if you don't die tomorrow. So don’t be afraid to spend that cash. Reward yourself with experience-oriented vacations or, occasionally, extravagant purchases to celebrate an achievement. As an example, watches can be great investments - money that would otherwise be spent on bar tabs. A $15,000 Patek Nautilus (2004 price) is now $100,000. However, be mindful that material things like cars or watches won’t bring you any substantive fulfillment. Bet on yourself. Don’t struggle to save in your early 20s when it will be easy to save after a couple of promotions. Still, it’s important to establish financial discipline and a basic foundation for wealth as early as possible. Start saving (a trivial amount of money) as soon as you get your first paycheck - $100 a week at 7% will turn into $1,000,000 in 40 years. You’ll never miss it. As your income rises, allocate your savings between a concentrated portfolio of long-term holdings, real estate, and a few 10-50x moonshots - startups, crypto, derivatives, whatever. Not only are they intellectually and financially fulfilling, it’s a great way to expand your professional circles, and open unknown doors of opportunity.

This is the longest lesson in the thread and it is worth reading twice, because it argues against both of the standard pieces of advice. It says enjoy your money, which the frugal crowd hates. And it says save early, which the spend-it-all crowd ignores.

The barbell is the idea: a steady, boring foundation on one end and a few big swings on the other. The savings figure holds up, by the way. A hundred dollars a week compounding at 7% a year for 40 years comes to a little over a million dollars.

Drinking, health and the body

6. Drinking isn't a fulfilling hobby

I loved drinking. It felt important professionally and was a personal hobby for years. But, alcohol is terrible for you, even in small quantities. It increases cortisol, which causes stress and anxiety, disrupts your sleep, destroys fitness progress and muscle recovery, increases estrogen and decreases testosterone, diminishes productivity, and causes long term cardiovascular damage. It also damages the prefrontal cortex, which impacts memory, impulse control, and cognitive ability. Occasional drinking is fine, but what’s the point? It’s never been easier to abstain from alcohol, and it’s important to start young. You'll discover that you don't need it socially; it's more fun to be present.

16. Get better educated on health and fitness

In a world where 50% of men are obese, it’s never been easier to demonstrate high-value status physically. Adopt better habits at a younger age with greater priority on weight training and muscle-building. Diet is not rocket science: Keep a simple “calories in, calories out” approach; emphasize proteins while minimizing consumption of sugar, alcohol, seed oils, processed foods, sodium nitrates, factory-farmed proteins, and exposure to microplastics.

17. Don’t waste as much time watching pro sports

Spending an entire Sunday watching football, or letting the outcome of a game dictate your mood is a waste of time and energy. Instead, play a competitive sport for as long as you can. The same goes with watching TV. Minimize the consumption of all mainstream media, limited to only basic awareness of what people in echo chambers are digesting to understand the zeitgeist. And instead of binge-watching Yellowstone, go ride a horse or get SCUBA certified.

These three are the most personal lessons on the list, and the drinking one most of all. It is written by a man who says plainly that he loved it.

The fitness lesson makes the same point as How To Be A Man: when most men are out of shape, being in shape is an edge you can build on your own. And the pro sports lesson is not anti-sport. It is anti-spectator. Play instead of watch. Ride the horse instead of watching the show about the horse.

Reading, writing and learning

10. Write daily

Therapy isn’t real (for most people), but reflection is important. Writing is a valuable tool for reflecting and for idea generation. My drunken journal of notes and memories in banking gave me a NYT bestseller. But more important, many of those memories would’ve been forgotten had I not written them down. I just wish I had done more of it.

12. Read more

Reading allows you to borrow someone else’s brain, and have a conversation with the most consequential minds in history. It’s a learned skill that requires discipline: Make time for reading, preferably right before bed. Keep your phone in another room. Tap out on books you aren’t enjoying and move on. Supplement by carrying a book with you and stealing 5-10 minute intervals when you can, and add audiobooks while exercising to the mix for efficiency. Keep physical copies (trophies) and amass a meaningful library over time.

14. Never stop learning

Feed and nurture an intellectual curiosity. We live in a world of free university courses, YouTube tutorials, podcasts, and even Instagram health and fitness guides. There’s an infinite amount of knowledge at your fingertips. And it never hurts to be knowledgeable and conversant on an eclectic range of topics; it makes you a better and more interesting person.

20. Focus on the habits, not the goals

To paraphrase James Clear, achieving a goal is only a momentary change. You need to change the systems that lead to the desired results. Focus on the habits and “the score takes care of itself.”

This group is a system. Read to take in other people's thinking. Write to sort out your own. Keep learning so you have something to write about. Build habits so it happens without willpower.

The reading lesson is the most practical paragraph in the thread: phone in another room, quit bad books, carry one with you, keep the physical copies. If you need somewhere to start, John's own list of 100 Books Every Man Should Read is in Beau's Library. The habits line is a nod to James Clear, whose book Atomic Habits is where that idea comes from. And the bestseller that came out of that drunken banking journal is Straight to Hell.

People: who to keep, who to ignore

11. Look outside your social circle

In New York City, the emphasis for many is: What do you do? Where did you go to college? What does your Dad do? It took me a decade to learn that sitting in the back of a truck drinking beer in rural Texas with people of all races and classes is more soulful, honest, interesting, and fulfilling than having brunch with Ivy League bros in Manhattan.

21. Nurture a handful of close friendships

I’m not superstitious but if you smile at the world, the world smiles back. Cut negative people out of your life and sever unreciprocated relationships. It’s so obvious, but you can literally choose your friends.

23. Don’t argue with idiots

We live in divisive times, and increasingly, behind a screen. Arguing with idiots is a colossal waste of time and energy, especially online. And when you do interact with people, try to be kind most of the time, even when a situation calls for anger or abrasiveness.

24. Ignore the boos. They usually come from the cheap seats

Most people aren’t thinking about you, but even if they are, who cares.

25. Say Thank you

Not Thanks, or Thx, or Cheers. Thank you.

The best lesson here is the one about the truck in rural Texas. It is not really about Texas. It is about noticing that the circles that ask "where did you go to college" are often the least interesting places to spend a Sunday.

The rest is about protecting your time from the wrong people. Choose your friends. Don't argue with idiots. Ignore the cheap seats. And say "Thank you," the whole phrase, every time.

Temperament: how to think about bad days

3. Don’t wait for the perfect pitch

Real life is not baseball. There’s no free trip to first base, and you’re not limited to three strikes. Just keep swinging, and your “luck” will improve.

9. Never harp, worry, or wallow in fear

It doesn’t help.

22. Always maintain a positive outlook

My motto is “no bad days,” but this wasn’t always the case. Even if something “bad” - like losing a job or love interest - happens to you, you won’t really know if that event was actually good or bad for another 5 or 10 years. And the answer is within your control.

26. Be skeptical

A significant portion of everything you’ve been taught, from the textbooks to the news you read, and what you’ve been told to revere and aspire to, is a lie. The people respected by society - academics, doctors, business leaders, and government leaders - are not all-knowing or even all that smart, and certainly not impervious to criticism or without sin.

27. Accept your reality

Never stop trying to improve your reality. But along the way, accept it. This is the secret to happiness.

These five are about how you take a hit. Don't wait for the perfect pitch. Don't wallow. Remember that you won't know for five or ten years whether a bad day was actually bad. Don't take anyone's authority on faith. And accept where you are, even while you work to change it.

"Accept your reality" is the shortest lesson in the group and probably the one that matters most. Ambition without acceptance makes people miserable. Acceptance without ambition makes them stuck. The trick is holding both.

Plan for the bad days, live for the good ones

15. Focus on hobbies that will last a lifetime

You might not ever “retire,” but as soon as your money starts making more money than you make in a year, you should take control of your time and focus on wealth-building, passion projects, and leisure activities. You won’t regret having developed a passion for hobbies that last a lifetime. For me, it’s fly fishing, ranching, photography, golf, and backgammon.

18. Have a plan

You cannot rely on the government; no one is coming to save you. Be prepared for social, political, and economic turmoil, even if it is a low probability event. Diversify your income streams, invest in real estate, and buy a ranch and some guns.

The last two go together. Have hobbies that will outlast your career. And have a plan for the day things go wrong, because, as the lesson puts it, no one is coming to save you.

The short version

Spend time with the people who matter while they're here. Don't waste money on things that don't make you better, and don't be afraid to spend it on things that do. Read, write, lift, get outside. Have kids. Keep a few real friends. Watch the sun come up. And go to bed tired.

Source: John LeFevre, Things I've Learned: What I wish I knew at 18, X, March 24, 2024. View counts as of October 2026.